The top request, by far, from followers of this fine blog is for me to file my picks earlier, so that people can fade my picks by betting the opposite. Go ahead you dumb bastards. This is going to be my year. Sure, week 1 was rough, but I feel like I’ve now got the pulse of the league. I’ll endeavor to start making picks on Saturdays, though, not Sunday mornings, just to make you doubters suffer.

My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS.

CHIEFS -4 vs. Chargers ❌ – OK OK, I’m already off on a bad foot this week on a game played three days ago. But I’m nothing if not scrupulously honest on these picks, and I gotta say I thought the Chiefs were going to win this one by at least two TDs. Lost by 1 vs. the spread.

STEELERS +3 vs. Patriots ✋ – I’m going with a basic “whoever stunk last week is probably going to stink this week” strategy this week, and the Patriots fucking stunk last week.

Pats-STEELERS OVER 40 ❌ – 40 is just too low for the over/under in any NFL game between any two teams, unless there’s terrible weather involved.

Seahawks +8 vs. NINERS ❌ – I don’t get the line on this one. Frisco lost to the Bears last week. The Bears.

Seahawks-NINERS OVER 39.5 ❌ – I can see why this is a low total but I’m going with my basic strategy of betting overs at 40 or lower for any two teams. Anyone can score 21 and lose a game.

COWBOYS +7 vs. Bengals ✅ – This a terrible bet. The Cowboys do look like they have a good, maybe great defense. They also look like they can run the ball. But last week with Dak Prescott they looked like they literally can’t complete a meaningful pass. And now they’re starting Cooper Rush at QB. On the other hand, maybe Cooper Rush is to Prescott what Prescott was to Tony Romo in 2016, and he’s going to run off a series of exciting wins and Prescott never gets the job back. Yeah. Maybe that’s the ticket. Sure.

Yankees -190 vs. BREWERS ✅ – No way the Yankees are getting swept by a team wearing softball-rec-league-style “Brew Crew” unis. Alas I have been made aware by the authorities that this game did not count as “NFL 2022” despite being played on a Sunday afternoon in September. Two more dingers for Aaron Judge, too.

Monday Night:

Vikings +3.5 at EAGLES ❌ – Good thing I didn’t bet on the Bears Sunday night like I was tempted to.

Season to date (week 1): 1-4
This week: 1-5-1